"Heaven"

I made Charlie write this conversation down last night. I'm so glad he did, cuz it is so cute, funny, sweet and innocent. I need to be better at writing these types of things down because she's at the stage where she's always asking a MILLION questions (thanks to Dad as a little boy!) and she's sooooo inquisitive. I have to give some sort of preface. We've had conversations like this one below many times. This is what she usually starts out with: "Mommy, I just love Jesus. I want to go to heaven and see Jesus." Then i Say, "I know, honey, and someday you will go to heaven, but you can't go now. If you keep being a good girl, some day you will go to heaven." ALYSSA: "But why? I just want to see Jesus now." ME: "You can't, not now, not for a long time. Because mommy will be so sad." ALYSSA: "Why will you be so sad?" ME: "Because then I can't see you." ALYSSA: "I will come back home." ME: (as I start smiling and crying at the same time) "You CAN'T! honey, you can see Jesus in pictures and talk to him when you pray." ALYSSA: "But I just want to see Jesus and hug him." ME: "Me too, but you know what? Jesus is always with us. He helps us feel happy when we're sad and he watches over us. But we can't see him right now." She keeps going on and on and on! It's so sweet and innocent. I know that little kids are so intuitive and they know and can feel Jesus's presence. What an example she is to me! It brings joy to my soul to see such love and desire. But as I'm thinking about this, I start worrying, "what if she does she Jesus soon?" AHHHHH then I start bawling my eyes out! I couldn't handle it! So anyway, last night she was singing a different tune so to say, It was the same topic, but different: It's midnight and she's SUPER tired. I know... what good mother keeps her kid up til midnight right? Well, at least she didn't wake up till 11am but her cousin Adysen spent the night, so it was really hard to get both of them settled down and to bed. Sheri took Ady upstairs to get her to sleep and Alyssa was upset. Anyway, she's crying and we told her she could go to sleep or lay down on the couch with me. Also, my voice is almost completely gone and I couldn't talk, so I made Charlie do most of the talking back to her. After she laid down, she kept crying and said: "I don't want to go to Heaven and live with Jesus because I just like watching movies and Jesus won't let me." ME: Who told you that you couldn't watch movies in Heaven? ALYSSA (cyring louder): Why does He not let me watch movies? ME (trying to calm her down): Alyssa, you can do whatever you want in Heaven. ALYSSA: What is in Heaven? (I stop talking cuz I'm totally straining, so I'm trying to get Charlie's attention so he can take over... she's impatient). ALYSSA (again): I just want someone to tell me what is in Heaven? CHARLIE: Heavenly Father and Jesus are in Heaven. ALYSSA: What else is there? CHARLIE: All of our family that has died. ALYSSA: I don't want to die to go to Heaven. (then she starts crying more) CHARLIE: We are all going to die, but you don't have to die yet sweetheart. ALYSSA: Why do we die? CHARLIE: So we can be with our family in Heaven. (trying to change the subject from death)... Babies are in Heaven too. (Alyssa stops crying and gives a blank stare). ALYSSA: What babies? CHARLIE: All little babies. Jenni's baby came from Heaven. Deborah's baby came from Heaven and you lived in Heaven, too, before you were born. So did mommy and daddy. But we can't remember being there. (ok, so why does Charlie keep starting NEW conversations?) ALYSSA: Why did we not remember? (crying again) CHARLIE: Because we have to believe in Heavenly Father and Jesus. ALYSSA: But why? CHARLIE: Because we have to have faith in Him. ALYSSA: I was a little baby in Heaven too? CHARLIE: Yes you were, sweetheart. ALYSSA: Oh. (she rolls over and goes to sleep).